I just finished a phone interview with a theatre critic/lovely human I know. He wanted to do a piece on my touring show, which will be stopping in his (and my old) hometown. He knew that I had spent the last few days with my dad, who lives near-ish to our current tour stop. After his questions, the interviewer mentioned how great it was that I got to see my pa. He said that -- even though he was sure I knew it, he wanted to give voice to it -- as we get older, we realize how important it is to spend time with our families. Whenever and wherever and however we can.
Between this tour and the last, I have gotten to see my family more than anytime in the last decade, I believe. This is especially fitting since the play I am in is one big celebration of FAMILY! And one of the very very best things about this gig is watching families experience the show together.
In a recent show, I caught sight of a little girl on her daddy's lap. During the ballad that the father character sings to his daughter, the real dad in front of me squeezed his little girl and made her grin with a big ole kiss on the cheek.
Our remarkable sound guy does his job right in the midst of the audience, and he loved the first time he noticed a mom holding her kiddo on her lap, who was holding a stuffed lovey in *his* lap! (Every buddy holds a buddy!)
On the last tour, I got to perform on the very stage that opened my teenage mind years ago when my dad took me and a dear friend (now deceased) to see "The Mikado." (Friends, you know, can be family, too.)
A woman once told me that during one of our performances, she saw her little girl laugh in a new way. It was the first time she had ever seen her full-on belly laugh, as in grabbing-her-stomach-and-bending-forward-to-laugh!
More than one new dad has sought us out after a show to say, "That was my life! That's what it's like! THANK YOU!"
To put a twist on the theme, I have had to be parted from one family (my new, loving husband) to bring this family-fest to others. Relationships from the road are probably as varied as tours themselves. My hubby and I have a book (anyone familiar with the McSweeney's furry journal?) that we pass back and forth. We text little thoughts and photos to each other throughout each day. He made me a CD with tracks of music interspersed with tracks of him speaking; I hid little notes for him throughout the house before I left. We both have a copy of the same photo of us that we set up in each theatre dressing room we occupy. It is difficult to be away from his physical presence. I miss hugs, and morning coffee together. But it has also been kindof fun to find creative ways to be part of each other's day from afar, and it has been nice to be missed, and to feel the pang of missing someone but knowing it's a finite absence.
You can celebrate the family in front of you as well as the one that is a phone call away.
Or the one that is a world away, for that matter. My grandma would've gotten a kick-and-a-half outta seeing me play a toddler (at 30+ :).
...I mean 20+...<cough>
As always, well observed, love. Family has always been important and we've both been lucky enough to make our own families when we've needed them in the new places we find ourselves while still retaining a strong need to keep the connections to the family that saw us into the lives we know. Does that make sense?
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