So it turns out I'm pregnant.
Heh.
Hubby & I definitely wanted to have a child, but we always thought it would be a little further down the line...when, say, he had a steady teaching job with benefits, and I had gotten in with more local theatre companies.
Instead, we are a pair of on-again off-again working freelancers, and my union-granted health coverage ends on April 1st. (Baby is set to arrive at the end of May.)
Not to downplay the excitement, mind you. It amazed me how quickly we both went from shock and fear to exuberance and welcoming. We already have a silly nickname for our baby. Hubby keeps a journal now for the "Little Monster," and I do "Monster-dances" with my new tiny cargo.
The fact remains, though, that I am not sure how to do this, and I don't even know if it can be done. At this point, hubs and I both want to remain independently-contracted artists and teachers. We just want to do that AND be great, loving parents with enough income to raise a child. Half of me finds this totally plausible, and the other half calls it a pipe-dream.
I do not mind taking the occasional office temp gig. We are both in the files of a wonderful agency, and this kind of work-between-work has been very helpful in the past. But neither of us is drawn to the idea of a full-time, NON-acting (or teaching) job. Sure, this may change. But for the time being, I find myself judging. Judging ME. Am I being stubborn, selfish, childish? Or am I really not asking for too much? Am I desiring something that is not only o.k. to desire, but is actually possible with some hard work and creativity?
I don't know many couples in our position. That's part of the problem. I know plenty of couples raising a family with one person freelance acting, but very few (maybe one? maybe??) involving BOTH. Is this because it is not possible? Or am I reading too much into this slim data?
Here is what I do know. We are having a baby. And we want this baby to grow up around happy, fulfilled-as-possible parents. The thing that makes us happy and fulfilled right now is theatre. Even with its constant auditioning, even with its unemployed periods, even with its wildly varying salary. So in late May/early June, when the Monster joins us out in the world, we will attempt to combine ALL our loves.
Check back as you please to find out how on earth that is going. :)
