My Buddy: My Body!

This is a post about my body. Is that awkward?

I heard that Paul Auster wrote a memoir based on his relationship to his body. I love that idea. How do you *relate* to your body?

For me, (like many of us, I'm sure) the answer to that question depends on when you ask(ed) it. Middle School Me would have a MUCH different answer than 32-year-old me (and 32-year-old me would have a slightly different answer on that 32nd birthday--before knowing she was pregnant--and now, after giving birth).

Maybe you've heard an actor refer to their body as their tool. Actors see themselves as toolboxes, you see: body, voice, memory, imagination. We use all of these things to create each distinct role. I think now that my body isn't just my tool, though...it's my whole dang workshop.

My body makes choices for me. No joke. I will think about a character without having an idea how they might hold themselves or move, and then when I'm up on my feet, stuff just HAPPENS. Motion just HAPPENS. Of course it's not always "right" right away, but the point is, it feels like I've got this partnership. My brain can do some work, my body does some work, and I feel like the "I" is with the brain, see, while the body is a trusty old pal I don't have to oversee. She just comes to the meeting with the visuals for my presentation, much to my delight. As a matter of fact, when I TRY to oversee her, or dictate to her, at least early in the rehearsal process, that's when things turn out not so great. That's the crummy work, when I didn't trust.

The most recent (and, to me, most AMAZING) feat my pal, Body, has performed was the creation, growth, sustenance & ejection of my son. Holy smokes!! I feel like "I" had just about nothing to do with that. That was allll Body. That was allll ancient blood-and-cell-deep knowin'. It was astounding to be part of.

This is all to say: I've been to some auditions for the upcoming season, but I've got no bites yet. The last few seasons, I already had a few shows on the calendar at this point, so, yeah, part of me is a bit bummed and a bit scared. So it's nice to think that this theatre stuff? Storytelling? It's in my BONES. I'm no ancient lady, but this art is. People have been making both people and stories for many, many centuries. I'm part of such a long line in both regards that I don't even have to know much about either at the end of the day, really. My body can just DO them.

And while my boy may be the only child I have, I feel (blood-and-cell-deep) many, many more stories hidden in this little body.