congratulations & can we please not talk about it?

I think this blog has been a pretty positive place so far. I like that. I don't come here to vent or complain. I have been using this as a space to share what it's really like to do-what-I-do, and as a way for me to keep perspective about what-I-do.

A healthy perspective attempts to take in *every* aspect of a thing--easy and difficult, smooth and rough.

Well then, here is something rather crummy (difficult. rough.) about my job. Sometimes, the only offers you get viciously & irrevocably overlap.

I've only had this happen twice in 6 years, but ohhh it hurts when it happens. I have been lucky many times, and had overlapping gigs with incredibly gracious companies that were willing to work with each other's schedules and "share me" :). Yes, this feels amazing. It's hard work, but you feel lucky and appreciated.

However, I was recently offered an overseas opportunity that directly conflicted with a gig I already had. The company who offered first was understanding, and made me feel like I could have backed out if I wanted (these gigs are not until the spring). So I had a decision to make.

See Figure A.


Fig. A:

Overseas gig:     2 weeks or so.
                           Company I already have a relationship with.
                           Show I love.
                           Overseas = awesome.


Local gig:           4-6 weeks
                           Company I am forming a relationship with.
                           Show I love.
                           Working with my husband = awesome.


...I am a Libra. You see what a problem this is.

Not included in this fascinating chart is the fact that I said "yes" to the local gig first. I don't *think* I have ever backed out of a show because of another offer...I know that this is done, and if the first company is given enough notice and the second company is just offering something better for you, this is an acceptable thing. But I have not felt compelled to do that yet. And while I was tempted by the alluring promise of international adventure (you must imagine that phrase yelled out with an echo), I was not, in the end, compelled to do it this time, either.

Of course, in a perfect world, I would magically get to do both! Especially since I have no jobs on the horizon after spring. When you freelance, it just feels wrong (difficult. rough.) to turn down work. But sometimes, them's the breaks.

So I am staying home, and makin' theatre for the littlest of littles ("A person's a person, no matter how small!"). And I stand by my choice. (Any "Sex and the City" fans? "I choose my choice! I choose my choice!") I am excited and humbled by this opportunity.

But I am also surprised by a childish truth:

I do not want to hear anything further about the Gig I Left Behind.